Top Story

Paris From The Thing

By Damien Fahey May 23, 2013

Cash Money Records just finished signing a deal with Paris what's-her-face from the naked video thing to record a follow-up album to the one that was released when she was still a fixture of pop culture, apparently titled "Paris."read more

Obama's Prom

Newly Published Prom Photos Remind Everyone Obama Once Posed In Pictures Just For Fun

By Nikhil M. Menezes
May 23, 2013


TIME magazine published Barack Obama’s prom photos from 1979 in this week, reminding us that the current President of the United States did once live a life in which he could take pictures without concerns for publicity and political subtext.read more

Defense

Historically Bad Predictor Of Outcomes Donald Rumsfeld Thinks Gay Marriage Will Lead To Polygamy

By Evan Waite
May 23, 2013


Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, a man quoted as saying that war in Iraq would last no longer than five months, suggested in an interview with Larry King that the legalization of gay marriage could lead to the eventual acceptance of polygamy.read more

Laziness Shaming

80-Year-Old Climbs Mt. Everest While You Come Up With Excuses To Avoid The Gym

By Gist Staff
May 23, 2013

Eighty year-old Japanese mountaineer Yuichiro Miura has set a new record for being the oldest man to summit Mt. Everest, besting the former record holder by four years while you, a most likely able-bodied individual, continue to make excuses for why you haven't been able to spend time in the gym lately.read more

Forging Ahead

St. Louis Teen Officially The Best At Writing In Cursive, And By Extension Forging Notes From Her Parents

By Josh Gondelman
May 23, 2013

St. Louis area seventh grader Lauren Ferrari beat out more than 285,000 students this week in the Zaner-Blouser cursive handwriting contest, taking the top spot nationally and, by logical extension, emerging victorious as the nation's best forger of notes, checks, and permission slips from home.read more