5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 3, 2013
1. Homer Bailey Gets Greedy, Throws Second No-Hitter
Cincinnati Reds' pitcher Homer Bailey threw his second no-hitter last night against the San Francisco Giants in a move that probably has many pitchers around the league sort of bitter that they haven't even had one. Bailey has thrown baseball's last two no-hitters, his first being back in September against the San Francisco Giants and is the first pitcher to do so since Nolan Ryan in 1974/1975 — one of the few reasons pitchers can be jealous of a man whose job forces him to live in Cincinnati.
2. Egypt Crisis Raises Oil Prices, So Now Everyone's Going To Have An Opinion
Oil prices have pushed close to $102 per barrel today amidst the growing unrest in Egypt. After millions of demonstrators emerged over the past week to protest the Egyptian government, the country's military issued an ultimatum to President Mohamed Morsi to create a power-sharing agreement by 4pm today (10 am EST), an agreement to which Morsi has not yet agreed. Due to Egypt's control of the Suez Canal, an important shipping lane, a protracted political crisis in Egypt could lead to sustained elevated oil prices, which in turn means a lot more people could suddenly become experts on Egyptian domestic politics.
3. Average July 4th Picnic Appropriately Cheap And Unhealthy
According to the American Farm Bureau Association, a traditional July 4th picnic for 10 people will cost $57.20. For those of you unable to move a decimal place over one, that's $5.72 per person for a meal that includes: hamburgers, hot dogs, buns for both, cheese slices, pork spare ribs, potato salad, baked beans, corn chips, lemonade, chocolate milk, watermelon, ketchup and mustard — a list that has just the right amount of inexpensive carbs and processed ingredients for a celebration of the United States.
4. North Carolina Republicans Set To Pit Enemy Against Enemy: Burdensome Regulation Against Abortion Clinics
After a second reading, North Carolina's state senate voted Tuesday to pass a bill that bans Sharia Law that also, thanks to the state's Republicans, includes a provision that requires abortion clinics to meet the same standards as ambulatory surgery centers, in addition to many other stringent regulations. The final vote will take place today, although Republicans could have probably done a better job of making abortions harder by utilizing the enemy that they are attempting to ban — Sharia Law.
5. Employer Mandate Delay Gives Us One More Year To Argue How Obamacare Will Destroy Or Save Us All
The penalties assigned to employers who don't provide their employees with healthcare under the Affordable Care Act will be delayed one year which means, if the opinions of many pundits hold true, that we have one more year before either total socialist Armageddon or a moral utopia in which healthcare runs as freely as tap water. The individual mandate, however, will still be in effect, which means that some people will face fines if they do not acquire healthcare coverage — a development that is a further reminder that no matter what people say, the Affordable Care Act is just boringly, unassumingly moderate at best.